Online Dating Advice Archives

Are you about to go on a first date with someone you’ve never met in real life before? Need a few dating ice breakers?

Here is a worse scenario: Picture yourself on the date with your ideal guy or girl, gazing across the table and frantically searching for something, almost anything to say to break the ice and get the dialogue started. The more you think about it, the more blank your mind goes! So what will you do? Surely you aren’t planning to allow the night to end in failure and let that luscious creature out of your life without a single word? Come on! Choose a word and say it.

Normally your mates complain that you can’t be shut up and now you have gone mute?

That old “open with a joke” thing can be tricky. First off, can you actually tell a joke? Many people can, and some people cannot so know which one you are before you even try. If you can tell a joke, do you know what type of humour your date likes? You will not want to open with a joke that steps on someone’s toes or offends in any way.

So exactly how should you break the ice then? Opt for a heartfelt and honest compliment. Anything safe and simple like “pretty dress” or, “I like your after shave.” Hopefully they will counter with an amusing story about how they wound up with the shirt and the discussion will grow from there.

Asking questions is a wonderful ploy too, but try to avoid any closed question that can be answered with just yes or no. You should ask easy, direct questions that will require three or more words to answer. Pay attention to the response and see if there are any follow up questions that you could ask to keep conversation flowing. Be sure to keep asking questions about your companion until you stumble on the topic that gets the conversation really going.

Once you have finally gotten the ice broken and the conversation is flowing, try to avoid the talk killers. Skip politics, religion and stories about your crazy Aunt Janet on a first date. ( You actually might want to keep the Aunt Janet stories to yourself until just before she makes it through the receiving line at your wedding.) Sports can also be an iffy topic if there is the possibility of a sport rivalry between you then tempers may possibly flare a little. If you’re able to both agree to disagree, however, sports can be a fantastic way to get a little friendly backwards and forwards banter going.

Food is a fairly safe topic, particularly if you are at a cafe or restaurant. Ask him about his favourite meal, or what bizarre thing he used to like as a child. By the time your food comes, you will be chatting and laughing like old friends. Just Keep in Just be sure not to talk with your mouth full!

The Pros and Cons of Online Dating

If you are just getting started with internet dating you may be wondering what the  pros and the cons of online dating are. To help you out, we’ve listed all the pros and cons we can think of below!

Cons:

1) You are not seeing these individuals in the flesh for the first time.

2) You may not be able to meet them locally for a while if they don’t live near you.

3) You have to rely on what they tell you or provide about themselves in their online dating profile is actually true.

4) It can be nerve wracking to take that initial step.

5) You usually have to pay for a membership to meet other people.

Those are just a few of the different disadvantages that you may be facing if you do online dating. Of course, you should take into consideration the fact that your potential cons are not listed here.

Here are a few of the pros of online dating:

Pros:

1) You get to meet lots of other people from around the world when it is suits you best.

2) You get to find the right person for you without having to deal with the bar scene or going on terrible blind dates.

3) The pressure is lower as emails are easier than phone calls.

4) You can find people online that are just like you, that already possess the qualities that you are after.

5) No more wasting time with people who are not right for you – you can find out a lot about them before you actually meet up.

6) You get to handle online dating the way that you want to.

7) It is safer as you can find out so much about the other person before you actually meet up with them.

As you can see there are a good number of benefits from online dating. It’s up to you to way up the pros and cons of online dating and decide whether or not it is right for you.

6 Internet Dating Tips

If you are thinking about getting started with internet dating, you may be wondering where to begin? Here are 6 internet dating tips to help make things a little easier.

1) Find the right internet dating site

There are hundreds of dating websites on the internet and you need to spend a little time choosing the right one for you.  You’ll find that different site cater for different needs, for example, some cater to singles looking for a serious long term relationship or even marriage whereas others are geared towards more casual dating. Decide what it is you are looking for and choose an online dating website that suits your needs.

2) Spend time Creating a Good Profile

Primarily you want to communicate with honesty the things you like, dislike, and what you are specifically seeking from your date. Online dating can be a great experience but it can also be soured when you waste yours and other people’s time pretending to be someone you’re not.  The only way to find the right partner is to be honest about who you are.  There are millions of singles registered across many internet dating services, so here’s the tip: there’s no need to pretend – there will be many people interested in the real you. Once you’re in contact with a potential date, maintain your honesty.  Finally, always ensure you are careful not to divulge any personal information in your profile that isn’t absolutely necessary

3) Take Things Slowly

You may find that a lot of people on internet dating services are keen to go on a date quickly. If things do move quickly because you reallyhit it off  with someone then that is fantastic, but no list of internet dating tips would be complete without this one:  proceed with your online dating interactions slowly. Remember that maintaining a little mystery can help build interest in the other persons mind.  It also helps to protect you should you find that the person you are speaking to really isn’t the type of person you initially thought they were.  If you take things slowly you will find that the benefits of chatting with and flirting with someone for a longer period of time will make your date all the more exciting and successful when you finally meet in real life.

4) Think of some Good Questions to Ask

The fourth in my list of internet dating tips is to think of some good questions to ask your potential dates. Use these to help you quickly find out about the other person and determine if the person is as their profile suggests.  You can ask both direct questions to find out a little about their likes and dislikes and broad questions to learn more about their life and previous relationships.  A good ice breaker is to ask about their experiences with online dating – doing so can be quite informative about the other person.  Their answer may even give you some additional internet dating tips on what to avoid.  For every answer you receive volunteer one of your own.  This way your potential date can see you’re not merely questioning them, but are openly sharing.

5) Remember that you are Interacting with Real People

You should also remember that whilst on line dating may seem like a game, it is not a game.  Remember that you are interacting with real people with real feelings.  Just as you would not want to be lied to in real life and ultimately have your heart broken, so too should you be careful to remain honest and not lead your potential date on.  Be honest with your interactions; be honest with your profile.  Keep as much mystery about your personal details as you can, but share as much information that doesn’t personally identify you as you can. Take your time to get to know your date and, when finally you meet, there will be no surprises.


6) Enjoy Yourself

Finally, a list of internet dating tips wouldn’t be complete with out this one.  Have fun!  Above all internet dating should be an enjoyable experience. Relax, be yourself and don’t take things too seriously.

How Safe is Online Dating?

How safe is online dating? Many people feel that online dating can be dangerous, but if you think about it carefully you will realise that online dating is probably safer than traditional dating. Before you decide to meet someone online you are far more likely to find out as much as you can about them than you would if you met someone in a bar and agreed to go on a date with them!

When you start looking for dates online, rather than trying to find your perfect match in the first week, just try to relax and have a little fun. You should not take yourself too seriously and when you are genuinely having fun, others will instantly be attracted to you and want to get to know you better. You may find several people that you want to get to know better and when you are single, you can date as many people as you like.

Always be very careful and  never give potential dates any sort of personal information such as your home address, telephone number or email address. You may want to list the town that you live in, but don’t go into any more detail than this as your profile is available to everyone on the site and you do not know what sort of people they are!

When you have found someone that you would consider going on a date with, the same rules that apply to traditional dating also apply online. To be on the safe side, you may want to arrange your first date in a public place during daylight hours. Tell a friend where you are going and be sure to meet your date at the arranged venue rather than at your home address.

So, how safe is online dating? As long as you take the same precautions and safety measures that you would normally use when going on traditional dates, online dating is just as safe as traditional dating. If you spend a little time checking people out before you meet them and send a few emails back and forward first before you meet them it is probably actually safer than  traditional dating.

How important is it to be religiously and politically compatible to your date or partner? When you read online profiles, some people are adamant that their date needs to be of a certain faith or must like or dislike a certain political party.  If someone goes out of their way to remark on this within their profile introduction then pay attention. This is clearly a high priority to them and no matter how attractive they may seem to you in their picture, if you know you have an opposite political or religious point of view it’s best to keep scrolling down the page. Why let yourself get emotionally involved with someone who is saying within their limited word allowance what is paramount to them in terms of a partner that you know is incompatible with you?

People vary in their religious affiliations. Some people are open to a variety of traditions while other people feel most comfortable for cultural reasons with someone of their same faith even if they don’t practice. There are others are on the fence about whether religion offers answers for them or it doesn’t. If someone believes that any religious belief system is an illusion then this may conflict with you if you have a spiritual side that you pursue or find to be a meaningful dimension of your life.

In terms of political alleigiances, someone who is left wing or right wing exclusively often wants a partner of that same persuasion. Political discussions can get very heated and debating with a partner on these matters many find to be exhausting. Politics, religion and monetary matters can all create relationship issues . Why start with a rift idealogically and lower your chances of the relationship growing?

In addition to politics and religions, eating preferences can also be a big relationship breaker. A meat and potatoes eater or a fish lover may receive a lot of criticism from a vegan. This is because a vegan not only won’t eat or wear animal products but feels very strongly that it is wrong to kill animals. Fortunately people with strong beliefs often state this in their profiles, but there is something in human nature that likes the challenge of persuading someone differently.

Save yourself the frustration of trying to unite opposite points of view and look for someone with a similar temperament and lifestyle. There are so many relationship challenges that adding on additional factors can create insurmountable difficulties. Instead find someone with similarities on important matters and watch your relationship grow.

Internet Dating Etiquette

Internet dating etiquette is something that is not often discussed, but can be imperative in the success you find in the online dating world. If you know how to be courteous and respectful of others, it can increase your chances of success with internet dating. There are many small things that you may not think about that can improve your chances of having good etiquette when you are using your computer as a dating arena.

Being honest is one of the most important rules of internet dating etiquette. Be sure to tell the truth at all stages of online dating. If you are using a photo that is a few years old and you lie about your age or weight it is not going to help you in the long run. If you are uncomfortable sharing information you should refrain from putting anything at all. People will want to know more about you and who you are so you neeed to be ready for this.

You may be tempted to use some of the flirt icons that are available on most dating sites, but writing a personal note to someone can show interest and make you stand apart from the rest. You’ll be able to understand people momre quickly and decide whether or not you want to get to know them better.

When you start having conversations with others remember to strike a balance. Tell people about yourself, but try not to make the conversation only about you. Be sure to ask questions about the other person, but not too many. You will quickly get to know each person you are communicating with and you will be able to cater your conversation towards this person’s personality.

Make sure that you are using some sort of spell check so that the conversations you are having represent you fully. A lot of people can struggle with spelling and occasionally this can put people off. By doing a quick spell check you can make sure that this is not an issue.

There are many other rules to internet dating etiquette that may apply to your situation and you need to make sure that you are practicing caution when you are in the beginning stages of meeting someone. Online dating is very popular and this is how many people are meeting their soul mate.

If you are new to online dating the best thing to do is have a look at some of the most popular online dating websites and register with them for free, take a look around and see whether or not that site is right for you.

Online Dating Safety Tips for Men

You’ve probably read a lot of online dating safetly tips for women, but what about for men? Sexual predators, weirdos and perverts come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and men need to be aware of this too!

Here are a few online dating safety tips for men:

1) Be wary of women who are financially needy -   be wary of women who seem too financially needy.  If a woman asks for money, cut the relationship off immediately.  They are not looking for love or even friendship….they are looking for financial help.

2) Do not give out personal information – It is common sense not to readily give out personal information to strangers.   If you come across a person who is giving out personal information and asking others to do the same, don’t do it.   Men, also, need to be careful about giving out their addresses, phone numbers, and place of employment.  Do not give that information to anyone online until you get to know someone better and feel confident that they are who they say they are.

3) Be wary of women who are insecure and overly keen on marriage – A need to get married and insecurity are other signs men should be very wary of.  If the woman is pushing too hard for a commitment you aren’t ready to make, it might be a good time to head for the nearest exit.

These were just a few basic online dating safety tips for men, but overall just be on guard and be aware that not everyone is who they claim to be!

Which Dating Site Should I Use?

If you are considering trying  online dating for the first time, you are probably wondering which online dating site should I use? The best way to decide  is to determine what you want from the site.  What type of relationship are you looking for?  Are you looking for a long term relationship? A quick fling? Something else? What type of person do you want to meet?

There are many different types of dating site to choose from, but most of them fall into one of the following categories:

Long Term Relationship Dating – with a long term relationship or marriage site, people are looking for more than just casual connections.  If you are in search of a serious relationship, or even a husband or wife, these are the types of dating sites you should sign up for.   When you sign up they will want specific information from you, which will help the site connect you to people you would be compatible with. Two good  UK long term relationship sites are Match Affinity and E-Harmony

Casual Dating – on a casual dating site you will find people seeking all types of relationships from quick flings to long term relationships.  If you are looking to have a good time and meet a lot of different people casual dating might be right for you.  Most often the people on these sites are not looking for a marriage or long term situation. You can find plenty people looking for casual dating on Dating Direct and Friends Reunited Dating. These sites also cater for people looking for longer term relationships too, but there are plenty people looking for casual dating.

Adult Connections – there are also lots of websites that help people seeking just physical relationships connect as well.  If you want to meet people with no strings attached these sites are the place to go.  There are also sites to help people with specific fetishes connect too. If you are looking for some no strings attached fun you may want to try Be Naughty.

No matter what your searching needs might be, there are many online dating websites to help you find what you are looking for.  When you find the right one for you take your time in signing up and be honest.  You want to meet people that are attracted to the real you.  Don’t get discouraged, just remember, there are millions of people wanting the same relationship that you are looking for.

For more tips on helping you decide which dating site should I use, visit our Online Dating Site Reviews.

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Picture this… You are sitting across from your date, making small talk and laughing nervously at the small gaps of silence.  You really wish that you knew how things were going. Straight out asking sounds like you are asking for a job performance review or worse; it sounds pathetic and needy. So, how do you know whether or not things are going well? The best way to know the answer to this is to understand how to read the body language of your date!

Has there been much eye contact? Is the eye contact friendly and inviting or is it menacingly intense or kind of creepy? It is often said that the eyes are the windows to the soul, they should be your first clue to success or imminent failure. If your date has not even looked up at you from their plate, or worse, if they have been oggling someone else, it probably isn’t going to well. On the other hand, if they look up at you, make eye contact and smiles then you might just be doing okay!

Has there been any physical contact? Next, for some more intensive clues. Has your date initiated or reciprocated physical contact with you at any point? Or, has every brush of flesh on flesh been met with a violent jerking away and look of sheer horror? If your dates is stroking your arm as she talks to you, she is more than likely expressing an interest in you. Look for the touch of connection: she puts her hand on your chest or your shoulder and the other hand on her own chest. It is a subtle signal, but an effective one. Of course, she could also be inordinately proud of her own cleavage too.

The First Kiss… Of course, male or female, gay or straight, the question that begs answering is: should I go for that first kiss or not? This is another reason why reading body language is so important. Is your date fiddling with her lips? Maybe popping mints left and right and smiling at you? (If she is popping mints and not smiling, she might be ill, so ask if she is okay.) Watch for her to start looking at your with slightly closed eyes, like a sleepy cat. She may tip her head slightly while talking to you. She may even reach out and brush imaginary crumbs from your chin. The signs are all there, the lights are green, so kiss her. You can learn exactly how the date went by that first kiss.

How did that first kiss go? Did your date pull away a little and give you closed lips? Or, did they lean into the kiss, pressing themself against you, sighing at the same time? If you got a leaning kiss, the date went really well and you are probably on track for a second one. If you got a closed lipper, don’t despair right away. Perhaps you were in too much of a rush. Wait and see if your date wants to get away from your quickly, and if not, then you might have a second shot at a less restrained kiss. Wait a little bit, do a little more body language reading. So you blew the first kiss, so what? You can always blow your date away if you time it right for the second one!

10 Online Dating Mistakes

If you are just getting started with online dating, or if you’ve been doing it for a while without much success you may want to read about these common 10 online dating mistakes. Hopefully this will help you to avoid making these mistakes yourself (or help to correct them if you are already guilty!)

Mistake 1 – Not adding a photo to your profile. Did you know that a lot of people won’t even consider dating a person who doesn’t have a photo in their profile? Profiles with a photo get as much as 10 times more responses than photos without!  So be sure to include a good clear photo of yourself.

Mistake 2 – Writing a Boring Profile. If your profile is boring, people will just assume that you are too! Take your time, and write an interesting profile. If you are struggling, why not invite a friend or two round for a drink and let them help you? Or read more about writing a good profile.

Mistake 3 – Not being honest. If you lie about yourself or embelish the truth, you are bound to get found out eventually, especially if you start to get serious with someone. Be honest about who you are and also about what you want.

Mistake 4 – Overused Profile Headlines. Overused tag lines will make your hard to find diamond into a worthless pile of stones. You should be original and try to be a bit creative in your profile headline. People with ordinary taglines tend to make their profile look boring or plain, thus making it least visited and would have a hard time in catching the eye of other members.

Mistake 5 – Not making your first contact email personal. If you are sending emails to a lot of people if may be tempting to send a standard email to each person. However, taking the time to include at least one or two personal things in the email can make a big difference.

Mistake 6 – Providing too much personal information. Safety is a high priority, especially online where people may not be who you think they are. Don’t give out personal details such as your phone number or address until you have met someone and trust them. Most online dating sites provide safety features and allow you to keep this information private whilst still being able to contact people through the site.

Mistake 7 – Hoping the Right Person will contact you. Many people put their profile up and wait for people to contact them. You need to be pro-active in online dating. Use the search facility to find people who match your criteria and don’t be shy about contacting them.

Mistake 8 – Don’t post too many photos. Avoid posting photos from different stages in your life, as your potential dates will be left confused about who you really are. Similarly, don’t post lots of photos from your last trip abroad. Remember that this is a dating website, not a travel blog!

Mistake 9 - Agreeing to meet in person too soon. If you still don’t know the person well enough,trust your instincts and wait a while before meeting him or her personally. You should try to know the person first before you try and meet personally and go on a traditional date.

Mistake 10 -  Expecting too Much Too Soon. Don’t set your expectations too high. You will probably have to date a few people before you find someone who is right for you. You might be lucky early on, but if you are not, don’t give up.

So have you made any of these 10 online dating mistakes?

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