How many times does someone say that they loved the person they e-mailed for 6  months from an online dating site but when they met he was totally different when they met in person! This shows us how much we bring our fantasies into play when we start to communicate with somebody. We create a picture of what they are really like, what our future with them will be and then we grow this dream continuously with more fantasies.

Do you want to live in fantasy or reality? A real human being has a history, has made mistakes, may have habits you don’t like , can get defensive at times etc. A fantasy person however magically can sweep away all the tough spots in our days.

The movie Enchanted is a great story about fantasy versus reality. The main character , Giselle, has an ideal image of her prince and when she meets him falls in love instantly. They decide to marry the next day but the evil step-mother sends her to NYC. Once in New York, Giselle
meets a man who tells her that you don’t marry someone after a one day relationship but need to date and get to know the other person. He pushed her to think about wanting to marry someone so rashly after knowing him for only one day. Aside from being from a different land, her world was shaken up due to her fantasy of romance being challenged. By being with an a person different than her original fantasy she came to actually love him more than her original prince who would sweep her off her feet. The man she grew to love wasn’t royalty, didn’t break into song at various moments and was actually a rational lawyer . But he was changed by her innocence and belief in love. She also wasn’t someone
he thought he’d ever end up with as a girlfriend.

Whatever your image of the ideal person is, take time to review it to see if it might leave out what is important in human interaction. Perfection actually won’t make most of us happy. If we had the perfect partner we’d probably become very insecure about ourselves and live in fear that things could end or change.

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